


My Hero, My Executioner

by StravvJedico



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Almost death, Angst, Blood, Flowers, Gore, Hanahaki Disease, Langst, M/M, Unrequited Love, shance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 05:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12624483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StravvJedico/pseuds/StravvJedico
Summary: Stage one was the uncomfortable tingle, the one he had completely ignored. It lasted longer than the other stages, often lasting for weeks, or even months, until the diseased individual finally accepted there was an attraction to another.Stage two was intense pain and the inability to breath properly, it usually only lasted a little while. Just until the person acknowledged that they were actually in love, but he had fought through that.Stage three was throwing up petals, his lungs desperately trying to get rid of the invading flowers that definitely did not belong in his lungs. Stage three could last anywhere from a few hours, to weeks.And stage four… well stage four was coughing up full flowers. Stage four only happened when actual rejection happened, so not everyone with Hanahaki disease experienced it. Stage four was an apologetic letter to his family on Earth, stage four was kind words spoken about his character. Stage four was death.And he knew exactly who he’d fallen for.





	My Hero, My Executioner

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey this is my first Shance fic and lmao its fucking angst. I dont feel bad at all  
> Check out other writing i have on tumblr maybe, my url is dinosaursharkbirds  
> Thanks for reading!!!

He hadn’t meant to fall in love… he really hadn’t. But that’s usually how it goes, right?

The first time petals spilt from his lips, he was in his lion. They were simple white rose petals, only his blood ruined the perfection and tinted parts red.

The paladins were in the middle of fighting off a group of Galra that had taken control of an Earth-like planet. It was warm and sunny, the beaches had soft sand, and the water was a blue that made Lance’s heart ache for home, for his family, strengthening his need to defeat the Galra with haste.

“Lance! Watch out!” Shiro had called out, in a way that definitely made Lance’s heart flutter, but a Galra fighter slammed into Blue before Lance could properly dodge it.

The damage was minimal, but when Lance started coughing, he thought maybe it was worse than he thought. Originally, he had thought that there was smoke building up in the cockpit from how severe the explosion seemed.

Raising a hand to cover his mouth as he kept coughing, he realized that smoke wasn’t the cause of his coughing.

The metallic taste of blood flooding his mouth was the first sign.

The second sign was the sudden, silky object in his mouth, which he promptly spit out in horror.

He watched as the white petal, stained with his blood, fell to the floor, the worried cries of the other paladins fading into background noise.

_ Oh no. Oh please no. _

Suddenly everything clicked into place.

It had started months ago, as a slight uncomfortable itch in his lungs, simple, definitely not harmful. He had chalked it up to a space cold, or dust since the castle was so old.

Gradually, it had grown from a slight itch into a constant pain that took his breath away, and he couldn’t spar with the others anymore in fear of passing out from lack of oxygen.

The simplest tasks left him out of breath, and he’d wake up in the middle of the night coughing.

He grew used to the pain though, and fought through as best as he could, again chalking it up to nothing more than space pneumonia.

But oh god… he was so wrong.

Hanahaki disease wasn’t common in the small town he’d grown up in, but he had heard of stories. Stories of girls and boys dying from unrequited flowers of love taking root in their lungs, choking the life out of them slowly.

Stage one was the uncomfortable tingle, the one he had completely ignored. It lasted longer than the other stages, often lasting for weeks, or even months, until the diseased individual finally accepted there was an attraction to another.

Stage two was intense pain and the inability to breath properly, it usually only lasted a little while. Just until the person acknowledged that they were actually in love, but he had fought through that.

Stage three was throwing up petals, his lungs desperately trying to get rid of the invading flowers that definitely did not belong in his lungs. Stage three could last anywhere from a few hours, to weeks. 

And stage four… well stage four was coughing up full flowers. Stage four only happened when actual rejection happened, so not everyone with Hanahaki disease experienced it. Stage four was an apologetic letter to his family on Earth, stage four was kind words spoken about his character. Stage four was death.

And he knew exactly who he’d fallen for.

“Lance!! Lance are you alright?!” His hero, and executioner, called out over the coms, shaking Lance from his thoughts and leaving him falling head first into reality.

“Y-yeah… yeah I’m fine. Just a little choked up, that’s all,” He answers weakly, a small laugh slipping from his lips and his eyes never leaving the petal on the floor. 

He wiped the blood from his mouth and rejoined the battle, the petal momentarily forgotten.

“I think we need to take some time and bond more as a team,” Allura had insisted, when they revisited the planet's surface after successfully fighting off the Galra that had captured it. “Especially you, Lance. You need to focus more on what is best for the team, and what’s going on around you. You could’ve gotten hurt out there.”

“Aww! Thanks for thinking about my safety, princess,” He responded with a wink, shooting her a dazzling smile and ignoring her groan of annoyance.

At that moment, Shiro took the chance to speak up. “Lance, we’re serious. You got hit pretty hard out there. You really scared us.” He placed a hand on the younger paladin’s shoulder, frowning as he looked down at him. “Lance… is… is that blood on your lip?” He asks suddenly, his eyes widening with worry.

Lance hesitates for a moment before speaking, not trusting his voice, or aching lungs. “Oh yeah, it’s nothing. I bit my lip pretty hard when I got hit, nothing serious,” he finally mumbles, silently thanking the stars when his voice comes out strong and steady.

“Maybe you should head back to the castle for a little while and let Coran do a med check… just to make sure you’re alright,” Keith called out from behind Shiro, and Lance was quick to shake his head.

“And miss the chance to hang out at the beach? No way! I’m fine guys, really!” But even as he spoke, the aching in his chest grew intense, and he did his best to hold in a cough, that would surely be accompanied by petals dipped in his blood. “I’m gonna go change, you all should do the same. Swimming in full armor isn’t easy, or fun,” he added hastily, not waiting for a response before rushing over to Blue, walking inside just as a cough forced itself past his lips.

He leaned against the wall as more coughs wracked through his body, covering his mouth with his hand, making sure to catch every single petal that fell past his lips.

As the coughing slowly subsided, Lance stumbled over to the pilot seat, sitting down as the room started spinning, gasping for air. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, trying to relax and get as much oxygen as possible into his lungs before he passed out.

He must have been sitting there longer than he thought because when he opened his eyes, he was met with the vibrate lilac eyes of noneother than the red paladin.

“Lance? Falling asleep already?” Keith teases, chuckling softly as he looked at the startled expression now present on the other’s face. “Should I take you back to the castle so you can sleep? Knowing you, if you’re this tired, you’ll fall asleep in the water,” he adds with a smirk.

“N-no! I’m not tired, I was just relaxing a bit, that-” Lance rushes to say, only to get cut off by Keith.

“What happened to your hand? Are you alright?” The red paladin asks, his playful tone replaced with one of concern as he looks at the blood dripping from the other’s hand.

“Wha- oh no… it’s nothing,” Lance mumbled, closing his hand tighter around the bloody petals. “Now get out so I can change.” He adds weakly, barely able to force a small laugh before starting to cough, which only seemed to fuel his fellow paladin’s worry.

“What’s wrong? Lance…” Keith looks around for a water bottle, quickly finding one next to the seat on the floor. Right next to- “Is that a flower petal?” He asks incredulously, raising an eyebrow in question as he opened the water bottle and then handed it to Lance.

Lance takes a moment to think, taking a sip of water before finally responding, “I was gonna give… uhh… Allura some flowers… I guess that petal must’ve fallen.” He clenches his fistful of bloody petals tighter, not meeting Keith’s eyes.

“Lance… what’s in your hand?”

“Nothing.”

“If you don’t tell me I swear I’ll pry your hand open… I don’t care if it means breaking your fingers,” Keith snaps bluntly, his eyes fixated on Lance’s hand, which was now seeming to bleed even more.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” Lance says weakly, another cough ripping past his lungs.

Keith takes that opportunity to yank Lance’s hand away from his mouth, petals falling from his grasp as more fell from his lips. “What…. What the hell? Lance.. What- Is this some kind of joke?” 

Lance looks from Keith, to the petals on his lap and the floor, and then back to Keith. “It… Yeah, it’s a joke. A new type of magic trick that I’ve been working on to woo the ladies.”

“It… you’re lying. Aren’t you?”

Lance sighs, picking up some of the petals. “Ever heard of Hanahaki disease?” He asks softly, glancing up at Keith.

“I’ve heard of it but I… no one I knew ever had it. I kinda thought it wasn’t real. I mean, a disease that causes flowers to grow in your lungs is… crazy.”

“I kinda thought the same… but now the flowers in my lungs prove that it’s quite real.” Lance adds a laugh, trying to lighten the mood, but failing as another cough rips itself from his chest.

Keith sits down next to the pilot’s chair, looking up at the coughing boy. “How do we fix-”

Without hesitation, Lance cut’s Keith’s words off. “No! I don’t want to get it fixed!” He yells hastily, causing himself to cough more.

Flinching back slightly at Lance’s sudden outburst, Keith sighs. “Why not?”

“It… it means I’ll forget everything…”

“If you don’t get it fixed, you’ll die, Lance,” Keith points out matter-of-factly.

“I don’t care. I don’t… I don’t want to forget him. It could ruin Voltron. And I know nothing could ever happen between us but… god I wish it could.” Lance hastily wipes the tears from his eyes, taking a shaky breath.

A flare of apprehension flashes across Keith’s face and he frowns. “I know him... Lance he might be okay with something if he sees the state that you’re in. Maybe we can work something out with him, but you need the surgery.”

“Work something out with him? It wouldn’t be genuine, Keith. It would hurt more because I’d know that the only reason anything was happening was because of the stupid flowers that are slowly choking the life out of me,” Lance responds, a bitter laugh leaving his lips.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone sooner?”

“I didn’t know, at first. I thought it was just a space cold or something. I just started coughing up petals today. After the fighter hit Blue, I started coughing. And then suddenly there was a petal,” Lance responds honestly, shaking his head. “This is all so crazy.”

“Lance… please… you have to get the surgery,” Keith pleads, his voice soft and his eyes filled with pity.

“I said I don’t want to. If I forget Shiro… I could seriously mess up the dynamic of Voltron.”

“Yeah you’re seriously gonna mess up the dynamic of Voltron if you die too, which you will, if you don’t get the surgery. You can’t tell me that your feelings for Shiro are more important than your life…”

Lance shakes his head, and a sad smile finds its way to his lips. “Keith it’s… it’s not that simple. I… if I get the surgery… I could lose the ability to love at all. For the rest of my life I will be unable to love anyone like that again and… I want to be able to fall in love…”

Keith groans, rolling his eyes. “Lance, there’s only like a five percent chance that will happen. And even then, that’s back on Earth. Technology is way more advanced out here… and with you being a paladin of Voltron, we could probably get you into the best hospit-”

“Keith… I said I don’t want the surgery. Deal with it.”

_ I know I need the surgery. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to forget. _

Suddenly Keith is in Lance’s face, staring him down with a glare. “You’re putting your feelings above the lives of everyone in the universe, you’re putting your feelings for Shiro above your own life, Lance! You need to get the surgery!!”

“I’ll… I’ll think about it. I’ll take a trip to a space hospital and get checked out. That’s all until I know more, okay?” Lance whispers, shrinking back against the seat. He couldn’t meet Keith’s glare.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?!”

“Would you want to forget? Forget loving someone? Forget all the memories you had with them? Risk losing the ability to ever love again? I have plans Keith. I… I wanna be desperately in love with someone who is just as in love with me as I am with them… I want what the romance novels promised. I want the hand holding and the giggling and the dates and I want to be swept off my feet… if I lose the ability to love at all because of “complications” during the surgery… I…” Lance pauses, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “I don’t think I’d be able to live like that.” 

“Please… at least talk to Shiro. Just talk to him. I have no doubts he’ll tell you to get the surgery to save yourself… and the team.”

_ I don’t want to save myself. _

_ \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

Keith leaves, and Lance changes into his swim trunks, the promise of cool water surrounding him calming his nerves as he steps out of his lion.

Taking a moment to compose himself, Lance sighs before he walks over to his leader, who was standing waist deep in the water, grinning and laughing. “Shiro… can… can we talk for a moment?” He asks softly, nervously wringing his hands.

The cool water surrounding his legs brought a wave of shivers through Lance’s body, but calmed him. He felt at home in the water. This is where he belonged. This is where he felt the most confident.

Shiro smiles brightly, sending a wave of pain through Lance’s chest. “Sure Lance. What is it? Is it about what Allura said? Because she’s just trying to look out for you..”

“No… no it’s not about that… it’s something else.”

Shiro’s smile falters slightly, and Lance has to hold back the cough that threatens to expose his illness. “Alright… well what is it?”

“How would you describe me?”

Shiro chuckles, and somehow that makes Lance feels worse. “What?”

“Well I guess that’s not really what I mean… I guess what I mean to ask is… how do you feel about me?” Lance corrects himself, cringing slightly at how obvious his intent was.

“You’re… well you’re like a brother to me. I care about you, and you’re a vital part of this team. Why?” Shiro looks at Lance, confusion written all over his face.

“I… I just…” Lance pauses for a moment, weakly coughing into his fist a couple times. “Fuck I can’t really beat around the bush with this. Shiro I’m in love with you,” he says bluntly, looking at Shiro pleadingly. “And I know you don’t love me back I just… I need you to know.”

The black paladin’s eyes go wide. “That’s not… Lance that’s not an appropriate thing to say.” Shiro stumbles over his words, a beautiful blush dusting his cheeks. “I… even if I felt the same, we couldn’t… it… it wouldn’t work.”

Lance could feel the ache in his chest grow, but he was trying to reason with himself. 

_ Words can lie… actions don’t. _

Grabbing Shiro’s face, and wasting no time, the blue paladin hastily pressed his lips against the other’s, holding for a moment before pulling away.

_ He didn’t kiss back. _

The look on Shiro’s face as he pulled away burned itself into the young man’s brain and Lance dove under the water suddenly, unable to face Shiro’s shocked- even disgusted expression. No words had to be spoken, the black paladin’s expression said enough.

_ What the hell is wrong with you? _

He kept swimming downward, the water surrounding him getting darker and colder. When he stopped and allowed himself to just float, he didn’t expect his lungs to suddenly wrench out another cough, a few flower petals floating from his lips.

It was serene, really. Watching the petals float around him, the water turning a slight pink from the blood slipping from his mouth, the ache from water entering his lungs not much unlike the feeling of the flowers that already resided there. He coughed again, and a mass caught between his teeth. He slowly reached up, pulling a full white rose, tinted with his blood, from his mouth. 

This was it. This was stage four.

Lance waited for a moment, assuming to feel a sense of panic at the promise of death but he felt oddly calm.

_ A hopeless romantic, drowning in flowers. How catastrophically poetic. _

Even as the edges of his vision got darker, he felt strong arms surround him, and he made himself hold the flower close to his heart as his executioner pulled him back up to the surface. He allowed his mind and body to succumb to the weightless feeling that a lack of oxygen had brought on, unable to feel the pain caused by the petals and water in his lungs.

\------------------------------------

The beeping. That’s what really woke up Lance. 

The. Fucking. Beeping.

And then it was the light. Freakishly bright and unnecessary. 

Groaning, Lance moves his arm to cover his eyes, only for his arm to catch on something, a strong grip holding his hand down.

“What the-”

Shiro looks up, quickly letting go of the hand he was holding only moments ago.

“L-Lance…” Shiro says softly, looking worriedly at the paladin.

Glancing over at him, Lance’s breath catches, a flawless smile gracing his lips as he stares at the man for a moment.

“Wow…  thanks for holding my hand… now I can tell all my friends that I’ve been touched by an angel,” he mumbles breathlessly, his smile only getting wider as the man blushes.

“Oh thank god… you’re finally awake. We were so worried! Lance you could’ve died! If we had been back on Earth you definitely would have! You’re so lucky that I pulled you out of the water when I did! And... we need to talk about some serious stuff bec- Hey… hey what’s wrong?” The man pauses, a look of worry suddenly over taking his features, his mouth turned down in a frown.

_ I never want to be the cause of that expression again. _

He hesitates for a moment, his chest aching slightly and his eyebrows bunching together in confusion. “You… umm… I don’t know… I just… I feel like I’ve met you somewhere before but I just… can’t quite place it,” he mumbles, trying to remember.

“Wh-what? Lance don’t be ridiculous.”

_ There’s that expression again, but deeper than before. _

“I mean… I ain’t complaining… I just don’t know you.”

Shiro stands up suddenly, and his voice is loud and pleading as he says, “Lance what are you talking about? It’s me! Shiro! You’re in love with me!” 

Lance chuckles softly at Shiro’s outburst, rolling his eyes a bit. “I mean… you’re probably the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, definitely Daddy material, but I don’t think I’m in love with you. We just met.”

Shiro clears his throat, taking a deep breath and nodding. “I’ll… I’ll go get the others. They can explain.”

Lance’s eyes followed the breathtakingly beautiful stranger leave.

_ Shiro _ .

A crushing feeling suddenly weighed down on his chest, as if his body was trying to remind him of something he’d forgotten, the feeling only magnified tenfold when the stranger came back with his friends hot on his heels.

_ Oh _ .


End file.
